Monthly Archives: December 2015

Epic Awesomeness Award

I was watching anime with Graham and Ivy this morning (xxxHOLiC, seriously a shame they never followed through on completing the story arc for anime), when I noticed my name tagged in a post by my friend over at sfarnell. I have been nominated for the Epic Awesomeness Award! This is my first blog award nomination, and I’ve been having kind of a rough time lately, so for both of those reasons, this nomination meant a lot. Thanks, Simon! You’re pretty awesome too.

awesome-award

The rules are as follows:

1. You are awesome; tell us why.
2. You are my friend; tell us about other (blogger) friends.
3. Be creative, but it’s ok if you are having trouble with this one.
4. There are no direct questions to answer; let yourself run wild!
5. Thank the blogger who nominated you.
6. Notify your nominees.

Following are my answers:

1. I’m one giant blush right now, and while I know there are some nice things I like about myself, this is really hard to answer. I suppose if I had to answer, I’d say that I can be pretty awesome because I’m a really good friend, I have learned (more and more successfully) to cut my own hair, at one point in my life my husband and I owned over 1200 books, my life’s goal is to always be learning and growing, I am passionate about many things, and I can be a really good cook.
2. I have some pretty great blogger friends. Strawberry Koi has been an inspiration for being a Mom while still following my creative dreams. breelark always makes me think and chuckle a little with her tongue-in-cheek humour. Scars, Tears, and Training Bras and I don’t comment on each other’s posts much, but she is so candid and honest, I feel as though we are friends. There are many others, including Simon and paulydeathwish, whose posts always make me feel like there are other quirky people like me out there, like I am not so alone.
3. whyineverwantsyphilis Why I never want syphilis.
4. Today’s self-care tip on my December 2015 Self-Care Calendar is: ‘Light a great-smelling candle and enjoy being home this evening!’ Gotta get me a candle. Anyone have suggestions for great scents?
5. Thank you so much, Simon! This truly made my day. ❤
6. I nominate:

– breelark

– Chantal and Shekinah

– paulydeathwish

– Food, Photography & France

– psychologistmimi

– Evilcyclist’s Blog

So there you have it, my first blog award nomination! Enjoy!


Faith in Humanity Restored

I sit writing this in the glow of a lifegiving OttLite. I can feel its therapeutic rays coursing through my veins and warming those dark and cold parts of myself that have been trying to hibernate since this low pulled me in.

I haven’t seen brightness like this since last summer. Brightness without the heat. It’s perfect.

My next door neighbour read my previous post and gave me this light. She also insisted on paying for my meds (I’ll be paying her back next week). I am blown away by the generosity of the amazing people I know.

I must say, so many good things have happened to me from so many kindhearted and generous people that I am convinced: humans are a marvellous race. There are a few bad apples in the billions that populate our planet, but in general, we have the capacity for unparalleled healing and caretaking of one another. We are a basket of roots woven around the Earth, around ourselves, and if we continue to weave our part into the tapestry of our planet, it will continue to be supported. This could be interpreted environmentally or societally, it could be interpreted in whichever way is seen fit to strengthen the care of ourselves, of one another. It’s difficult and a little frightening when one thinks of those who are trying to snip through those threads and weaken the long-term of everything for their own short-term personal gain. That’s why small acts of healing like that of my neighbour to me are so important. Each kindness is a thread binding us back to ourselves and ourselves to our planet. Each good thing we do for someone else is a seed we plant that in time bears fruit for ourselves and for others. It’s a beautiful way of looking at the world.

My December 2015 Self-Care Calendar for today says ‘Double check your wrapping supplies! Tape, wrapping paper & bags!’ You can tell this is a calendar made for those in a commercial society. But I have indeed checked: 3 remaining rolls of wrapping paper, 2 tape dispensers, a pair of kitchen scissors, a Sharpie, gift tags from the Northern Store. Have had these since November. Mostly holding on to what I have left so Graham can wrap whatever he’s bought me on Christmas Eve, as is his ritual.

Nearly done reading Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell. Really enjoying it, slightly sad that it’s ending, feeling somewhat like I’m parting with a friend. I’ve dragged this book through a lot with me. Those memories are imprinted on the pages forever. Mustn’t get too nostalgic. It’s a book, and I haven’t even finished it yet. It’s my own book, moreover, and I can reread it in future. Still feel somewhat melancholic about the upcoming approach of its final consumption.

Must sign off now to FaceTime my mother, since our conversation was interrupted by the Health Centre asking if I had enough lithium and valproate to last until Tuesday night. Washing machine is on downstairs and I can hear Ivy singing to herself, but a nice quiet time is good for her too, even if she doesn’t nap. Will call Mom and then see to Ivy.

Today is the official day of Yule. Will be wassailing the trees with hot chocolate instead of cider and watching the Fireplace Channel instead of burning a Yule log, but it’s the thought that counts, right? Blessed be all of you, and Merry Christmas.

 


Just Before Christmas

IMG_4155.JPGThe title of this blog is ‘SharaLee Reads’. SharaLee has honestly not been doing a whole lot of reading as of late. SharaLee has been sick, and dealing with a very busy toddler, and feeding a hardworking husband. When SharaLee gets time to read, she spends most of it sleeping.

SharaLee also has bipolar disorder, type I. And currently, she is in a low. Writing about herself in third person makes it seem less hard to complete this entry, so please suspend your disbelieve and bear with her. ❤

It has occurred to SharaLee for the first time that what she deals with truly is an illness, not just a character flaw or something she’s not doing right to be happy. She could give you all the facts and all the sarcastic arguments and memes out there about educating yourself on mental illness, but most of you WordPress lovelies are proficient in the use of Google and Wikipedia, so I’ll just leave you to it. Instead of muscle spasms or fluctuations of physical strength, SharaLee experiences emotional spasms and fluctuations of impulse control strength. Spasms is also not the right word, too short and sporadic for the length and duration of the emotional pain and/or elation that characterize much of SharaLee’s life.

Okay, enough third person. I think I can handle this now. I woke up feeling suffocated in my own sadness, cried once while watching ‘Elf’, and had much support from my husband, took comfort in the joy of my daughter.

Thankfully for me, Christmas is a good time for me. That means that this low should be okay, since Christmas is in five days, and hopefully the low will be under control by then.

However, got a call from Yellowknife today that my credit card payment did not go through for my meds, which means I am using my last dose of lithium tonight and won’t get more until after Christmas.

I know this will be tough but Graham and I have been through a lot, and we can get through this too.

Thank you all for your continuing love and support. It’s reciprocated. ❤ ❤ ❤